Apr 09




if ur hair covers ur boobs u have mermaid hair and u are a mermaid i dont make the rules

As a man with a hairy chest, I was very, very confused by this post for about ten seconds.

You are a mermaid, sir

Apr 09


i dont understand the stereotype that women are obsessed with shoes, like have u ever met a high school boy

Apr 09


all i have is this blog and my virginity

Apr 09


giving guys boners is empowering and nothing else matters 

Apr 09

Im a fun person ok but whenever someone cute talks to me i turn into a fucking raisin

Apr 09



i just want a boy who touches me distractedly

like sitting watching a movie and he just kinds of drags his fingers over your skin while watching and he doesn’t have a motive he’s not trying to tickle you or be sexual with you he’s just touching your skin and feeling the shape of your bones under that skin like it’s physically comforting for him to know that you’re there right under his fingertips

oh fuck i didnt know girls liked when i did this

Apr 09


date me to disappoint your parents

Apr 09


Let’s play a game called “I’m totally joking, but would do that in a heartbeat if you were into it”

Apr 09


in 9th grade i was getting picked on in class and this girl was like “fuck you guys leave him alone” and called me over to her seat and I was like “thx lol” and she was like “I have something special to show you don’t tell the teacher” and I said “ok” and she pulled a guinea pig out of her purse 

Apr 09


all i do is sit around and eat and be sad im basically a more annoying version of a plant